Christmas and Nick’s birthday (January 17th) bring tender, bittersweet heartache. I have noticed, however, the heartache isn’t as raw and mind-numbing as before. It’s constant but bearable; we seem to get along well now. My consciousness sustains longer levels of clarity, which is so pleasantly surprising. My husband is attentive, kind and so hilarious! My daughters are beautiful, intelligent and so hilarious! My co-workers are thoughtful, competent and yes, hilarious! Joy, happiness and laughter are now also constant in my life – it feels so refreshing!
I’ve learned to respect my loss: the depth and range of emotions, the visual and heartfelt memories and most importantly, the strength of it’s power. I’m learning to project this newfound energy towards the positive. Sometimes the varying mantras of gratitude make me weary and indifferent. However, action – doing something for someone else – has been incredibly healing.
Years ago, I read an article about a philanthropist. He came across a young man and engaged in a very personal and in-depth discussion about the future. The young man mentioned his life-long dream of going to dental school and admitted he could never afford to attend. Mr. Philanthropist asked the young man how much it cost to go to this particular dental school. The young man responded, “I don’t know.” Mr. Philanthropist wrote, “… had this young man known the amount of tuition, I would have written a check on the spot.” His point being, if you have a dream, know the specifics, allowing your subconscious to jump on board, too. Once the subconscious is activated, your choices and circumstances are altered in an effort to achieve your dream.
This story stuck with me. So much so, that after threatening to build our own softball field complexes for our Wacky tournament, I thought I’d better know what the real numbers are should the opportunity present itself. A few months ago, I took a leap of faith and asked one of our Wacky Warriors in Dallas to go ahead and initiate a rough draft of an 8-field complex. Shortly thereafter, we had some business associates in Orlando announce they would like to host a Wacky golf tournament. Their intent is to introduce some interested individuals to our vision as a foundation, as well as raise funds and awareness for Wacky. Oh. My. Goodness.
Before I had a full-on anxiety attack, I began to get my ducks in order last week. After a conference call with the Orlando associates, June 9th was selected as the date of the celebrity golf tournament. I quickly invited a couple of the Utah Amateur Softball Association directors to a planning meeting, to help me determine what the real numbers are in building a complex. Then I wrote out a 168 point check-list of things to do… (pause, as I hyperventilate into a paper bag.)
Note: the golf tournament will not be used to raise funds to build a softball complex. Donations received will still be forwarded on to charities that support childhood cancer research and young adult cancer survivor outdoor adventure camps. However, we hope an endowment opportunity will present itself through sharing our “narrative wisdom” with others in our ever expanding network of like-minded thinkers and do-ers.
Whether it be belly laughs or anxiety-attack laughs, Wacky Warriors continue to bring about positive changes in our world.
2014 is going to be a great year – I can see it!