We are getting so excited!  Since Wacky participants will need to pick up their bib numbers in Ogden on Friday, we decided it would be more convenient if you wanted to purchase a WACKY running shirt to pick one up at the Fun & Fitness Expo where Wacky Warriors has a booth (indoor expo area – opposite end of the Packet Pickup and Registration).  THERE WILL BE NO DINNER AT THE BROWER HOUSE FRIDAY NIGHT.  We will be at the booth Friday from 10:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. and will also have a tent set up at the finish line Saturday morning serving peanut butter sandwiches.

Please feel free to call me at 801-554-5505 if you should have any questions.  Thank you so much and we’ll see you soon!

Below is some critical information regarding the race:

Expo parking, family reunion, 5K registration closing and critical timeline. Hello Runners! Race week is here and we are super excited to see you all at the NordicTrack Fun and Fitness Expo on Friday!  We have a few details to outline for you and we will also include a critical timeline in this email. First, if you registered multiple people and only used one email address, this email will only reach one of those people.  Please share this email and the links with others that you think may benefit from reading this. EXPO PARKING:  There is plenty of parking in Ogden and you will be able to find parking within a reasonable walking distance fairly easily.  The South Lot of the Union Station is not available for Expo Parking.  Please review this map to plan your spot!  Don’t forget, the Expo is at the Union Station from 10:00 until 8:00. FAMILY REUNION AREA ON RACE DAY:  Pick a color!  Red, Blue, Green or Yellow??  Your family members can easily find you at a designated area after your race is over.  All you need to do is tell them what color you’ll be at after the race (and an approximate time).  Family Reunion Color locations will be in the finish line park area and will be clearly marked with lots of big balloons!  Just meet your family at whatever color you want…it’s up to you! 5K Registration:  There are only a few spots left for the 5K!  Online registrationcloses for the 5K Wednesday Night.  Registration for the 5K will be available at the Expo if spots are still open. RELAY TEAM INFO:  Relay teams will receive ONE timing device to be worn on your ankle.  Team members will need to make sure that this timing device is passed from runner to runner at the transition areas.  No Device = No Time.  Please ensure that the timing piece is in the hands of the runner who is assigned to Relay Leg 1 (Start).  The assignment of relay legs is entirely up to your team and does not need to be reported to the race.  Splits will be recorded as Team Time Splits and not individually. CRITICAL TIMELINE AND LOCATIONS: EXPO AND PACKET PICK UP - Friday, May 18th – Union Station – 10:00 am until 8:00 pm.  This is your only chance to pick up your race packet. BUS LOADING - Published times are leave times.  DO NOT BE LATE. Click here for parking suggestions and bus loading map. FULL – 5:00 am – In front of the Ben Lomond Hotel on Washington Blvd and 25th Street.  Full Marathon Buses are staged in the Northbound Direction. HALF – 5:30 am – In front of Key Bank and Marketstar on Washington Blvd and 25th Street.  Half Marathon Buses are staged in the Southbound Direction. RELAY LEGS 1 & 2 – 5:00 am – You are loading with the Full Marathon Buses.  Please see instructions for FULL above. RELAY LEGS 3 & 4 – 6:15 am – In front of the Ben Lomond Hotel on Washington Blvd and 25th Street.  Buses are to be staged facing Northbound. RELAY LEG 5 – 8:00 am – In front of the Ben Lomond Hotel on Washington Blvd and 25th Street. ***Transportation for relay teams from their finish location is provided.  You will be provided transportation to the finish area. 5K – 6:00 am – In front of the Junction located on 23rd Street and Kiesel Avenue.  Buses will pick you up in front of the Salomon Center located by the Larry H Miller Megaplex and Sonora Grill. ***There is no transportation from the finish line to the 5K start.  If you drive yourself to the 5K start, you’ll need to arrange to get yourself back there. RACES START - All races start at 7:00 am KIDSK - 12:30 pm – Amphitheater Entry Way on 25th Street and Kiesel.  Registration opens at 9:30 am. SOMETHING FUN: We are giving away 2 NordicTrack Treadmills at the NordicTrack Fun and Fitness Expo!  Be sure to visit the GOAL Foundation/Marathon Retail Booth to put your name in the drawing!  Also be sure to visit the Hurt In The Dirt booth for your chance to win a free entry into this year’s Hurt in the Dirt! It is looking like we are going to have a great day Saturday!  We’ll see you at the Expo! Sincerely GOAL Foundation “Get Out And Live!”

There are two TED videos I would like to recommend to you:

The first one (Firefighter) is short and simple – perfect for my current attention span capabilities.  The second (Happiness) discusses an observation of money and happiness.  Each support and prompt us to give to others.  I may be in an optimistic mood today, but it seems like the pendulum is swinging towards a movement of kindness.  Maybe I just am now noticing.  We are getting to know our neighbors again; our communities are joining together for various causes for good; we really want to know, “How can I help?”  Nice to see, nice to participate, nice to receive.

And one more video, although not a TED video, but one that I recently shared through Facebook (many have shared, actually) that I think merits a look.  It made me smile and cry simultaneously while hope washed through my heart.  Click here and enjoy –

Before I sign off, please join me in saying a prayer or two for a couple of young men battling cancer with ferocious faith, attitude and resilience – Tyler Smith – http://fight2thefinish.com/warriors/

and Vinny DiGerolamo http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/vinnydigerolamo.  You may notice a common denominator in these two – their family is dedicated to service and their gratitude is enormous.  They inspire me every day.

May I be an answer to someone’s prayer today (one of my husband’s favorite sayings…) – and may you, too!

May 14, 2012

I knew the day was going to be rough.  So did Lee as he handed me the keys to the car so I could leave church in the middle of services, nearly blinded by tears and emotion.  I drove home and grabbed Kelsey who joined me in an emergency run to Krispy Kreme for a donut fix.  It worked.  Tears subsided and smiles appeared.

Later, the smiles continued as I read the Mother’s Day messages Carly & Kelsey wrote in sidewalk chalk over our entire driveway.  I love that my 21 and 16 year-old daughters didn’t think they were too old for this sweet display.  They also placed post it notes throughout the entire house with little messages just for me – in the refrigerator, on the bathroom mirror, the lamp, my car, etc.

Actually, our entire weekend together was quite special.  It started with Carly inviting Kelsey to join her as a pick up player on her co-ed softball team.  Kelsey was actually a ringer.  The opposing team sarcastically shouted from the bench, “What are you, twelve?” as she went up to bat, so she responded by drilling the ball soundly out past the head of the left fielder for a stand-up double.  She also played first base like a pro – catching extremely hard and fast throws from shortstop every time for an out, while I had to close my eyes, hoping she didn’t get beaned in the head.  Carly could be heard to shout, “That’s MY sister!”  Carly’s team trounced them!

But I am a mother of three.  This first Mother’s Day without Nick is so hard, so sad.  I couldn’t have made it through without Lee, Carly & Kelsey.  Their love comforted my fragile heart.  What I cherished the most was when the two girls would say, “Remember when Nick said….” or “That was so funny when Nick….”  Each girl can mimic Nick verbatim and it is hilarious.  The memories brought laughter and warmth.

I then read a posting from another mother who lost her daughter last year, also experiencing her first Mother’s Day without her daughter.  I absolutely loved the post and it was exactly what I needed to read.  Here is the article written by Erma Bombeck shared in the post:

THE CHOSEN MOTHERS

By Erma Bombeck


Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?


Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger….


“Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew.

Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia.

Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard.”


Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, “Give her a child with cancer.”
 The angel is curious. “Why this one God? She’s so happy.”
”Exactly.” smiles God, “Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”


“But, does she have patience?” asks the angel.
”I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it.


“I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has its’ own world. She has to make it live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.”


“But, Lord, I don’t think she believes in you.”


“No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”
 The angel gasps -”Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”
God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied.  She will never take anything her child does for granted.  She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see…ignorance, cruelty, prejudice…and allow her to rise above them.  She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side.”

I am so blessed to have Lee, Carly, Kelsey, Nick and God by my side.  Happy Mother’s Day

On race day, we can all meet up at the shuttle in Ogden which departs at 6:00 a.m. I know. I know. We will, of course, be dressed in Wacky attire. We will also have a Wacky booth at the finish line where we can meet up again and wait for our half marathoners – unless they pass us up, which could happen!

Please visit the following link to register:
http://www.getoutandlive.org/races/5k-ogden-marathon

Be sure to enter “wackywarriors” as the event code – that will help me keep a list of everyone who is going to be on our team!

Call me if you have any questions. Please don’t hesitate to invite any other family members or friends who you think might enjoy being Wacky for a day!

“CureSearch to Award Young Investigator Grants in 12 Areas of Children’s Cancer Representing the Highest Risk and Poorest Outcomes for Children with Cancer.

                             Ashley, Paul, Lee & Dave

Speaking of the Ogden City event, I’ve finally pulled my head out of the sand and have started the effort in getting a Wacky team together for the 5k on May 19th. Just to be clear – we WALK, not run, so that we don’t miss any funny stories.  So far, there are 5 participants in the half marathon (sold out in hours) and I have myself, Carly & Kelsey registered for the 5k.  The plan is to visit our home on May the 18th for an informal dinner – probably around 7:00 p.m. after you have picked up your participant packet at the Union Station in Ogden.  Be sure to stop by and visit our Wacky booth at the expo!  At the dinner, I will have official Wacky running shirts to purchase if you want to wear it for the 5k.  This is really the only fundraising us 5k’ers will be doing (Lee has his own thing going – see video posted on April 18th).  Dinner is optional, of course, and you just need to let me know if you want a shirt before the race and we’ll make some other arrangements.

http://www.getoutandlive.org/races/5k-ogden-marathon

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Apparently, I am experiencing them backwards.

The voices in my head are telling me that I accepted Nick’s death immediately, probably because of the long process cancer took us through.  I subsequently slipped into depression, for which I reached out for professional help.  I already used up my bargaining ideas, beginning from day one of diagnosis.  I am not one to hold on to anger as it is so emotionally and physically draining.  And, it really doesn’t do any good – what is, is – so what’s the point?  But here I was on Easter afternoon, FURIOUS!  Fit-to-be-tied.  Livid.  Irate.  Enraged.  Incensed.  Down right pissed off.  Once again, there was not a trigger for this emotion – very random, very intense.

We are in the tenth month of our year of “firsts” since Nick has died.  Christmas wasn’t nearly as difficult as Easter.  I can say that because Christmas was a good three months ago and Easter was Sunday.  I have neatly tucked away the emotions I felt at Christmas, except for how I felt every time I looked at his empty stocking hanging on the mantle.

Perhaps I was coming off the emotional high from the First Descents ball.  Perhaps it was because I was an Easter basket short this year.  Perhaps I am remembering our last Easter spent at the hospital when his physical decline was progressing so quickly.  I made a coconut cake and it turned out lopsided.  I prepared home-made bruschetta and it looked very peculiar, indeed.  I was completely out of sorts. Don’t get me wrong; I’m completely at peace spiritually with where Nick is now, especially grateful for the blessings of Easter.  It is the earthly peace I’m wrestling with now.

So, off we went to visit Nick’s grave – so ANGRY that as a mom, I had to go to a cemetery to visit my son.

We brought a blanket and the weather was spectacular.  Thankfully, we had gone to hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir perform earlier in the morning.  The beautiful music still resonated in my heart, regardless of my state of mind.  I soon released the sobs waiting to come out and finally, the sun began to warm my body and the spirit of Easter began to warm my heart.  Nick’s grave was decorated so cute, I’m sure it annoyed him.  The best decoration was a lone purple crayon stuck up in the grass.  Don’t know why, but I thought that was terrific and I don’t even know how it got there.

Now that the weight and negative perspective that comes with anger has dissipated, I am looking forward to Kelsey’s softball game this afternoon.  I am looking forward to celebrating Carly’s upcoming mission call next week (now there is a Wacky Warrior!)  I’m looking forward to hearing the good news from our young friend, James, who is undergoing heart surgery this morning.  I’m looking forward to spending a weekend with Lee in early May.  I’m looking forward to the Wacky Warriors participating in the upcoming Ogden Marathon.  I’m looking forward to living again.

And, I suppose, “denial” is coming up soon.  Until then, here is a picture of Kelsey & Aerin, which kind of expressed how I was feeling on Sunday.

After a flurry of hugs and pictures, we wandered the tables of merchandise, hoping our bids would win us our respective items.  Soon, we were seated at our assigned tables and dinner was served while the silent auction continued (with the help of volunteers and their iPads to track all bids).  Now, let’s talk about dinner for a moment. I’m going to sound a bit ungrateful here, but really, I’m just trying to be accurate.  “Tian of Vegetable Ratatouille” for the starter appeared to be a well-packed portion of chunky salsa. “Eggplant Roll, Spiced Pumpkin Mash, Asparagus & Baby Carrots” represented the entrée.  This is where it really gets interesting with two extreme reactions: Kelsey gagged bringing tears to her eyes, so she ate her carrots –little, teeny baby carrots – both of them; Lee devoured his entire plate.  Lee could also eat bark and think it was dry granola. That and he is by far the healthiest among our entire entourage. The rest of us fought over the rolls and finally begged the server to just leave us the basket.  The menu was a good spirited source of humor for the rest of the evening.

Soon, Brad Ludden, founder of First Descents and close family friend, introduced the video clip (well done, Remix!) on “Nickname” Raitt, this year’s recipient of the FD Spirit Award.

http://firstdescents.org/media/media-center/photos-videos?tubepress_page=2

Applause broke out once the clip finished and as Brad introduced me and Lee, the entire room of over 450 people stood to give Nickname a standing ovation.  My heart ached as we walked towards the stage, and I allowed myself a few silent tears as I hugged Brad.  Lee accepted the beautiful bronze sculpture in Nick’s behalf and I nervously began my speech.  Between my three pages of notes, tissues and glasses, I felt completely out of sorts; thankfully Lee stayed right by my side.  I tried to relay just how much First Descents meant to Nick, and now to us – Nick’s family.

Following my speech, was another talk given by “Johnny” Beaty, a beautiful three-time FD camper and cancer survivor.  Her husband introduced her, perfectly blending humor and tenderness, obviously still head-over-heels in love with his wife.  Johnny shared her journey through laughter, courage and a strong voice – wavering only once.  She is a true heroine.

And then came the auctioneers kicking off the live auction.  The entire evening was an enormous success raising over $450,000!  Soon the band cranked up the music and we all hit the dance floor.  Lee and I spoke to many wishing to express their love for Nickname or simply to say they were sorry for our loss.  It was an emotional night for everyone attending.  Around midnight, just as we were off to our room, a dozen extra large pizzas arrived for those remaining on the dance floor.  Perfect ending to a perfect night!

Just as our group headed towards Moab the next day, First Descents hosted a group of new counselors for an intense three-day training – also in Moab.  In fact, it was the same lodge that Nickname stayed in last April for the inaugural rock climbing camp.  Brad and Corey asked me and Lee to stop by the lodge to say a few words to the new recruits, reminding them how impactful their new jobs are going to be to the young cancer survivors.  Well, sure!  So, on Monday afternoon, the whole family tipped up at the lodge.  Counselors and staff – new and seasoned – gathered in the living room.  What Lee and I were amazed to see is that part of the training included having each new counselor burdened with a handicap brought on by cancer.  One was blindfolded; another had one leg bound, forced to use crutches; another had pillows plumping up their appearance representing weight gain cancer treatments can bring to a patient.  The counselors had to bear their “handicaps” throughout the entire day.  It is so important to relate to young adult survivors and I thought it was appropriate to try and walk in their shoes in an effort to understand the magnitude of issues cancer can bring.  Lee spoke a few minutes about how their leadership is so critical to providing an environment of learning and growth and I spoke about Nick’s Wacky Warriors.

The room was magical for me, and just as powerful as the FD ball.  I am so grateful Nick’s legacy is living strong through our association with First Descents.  I’m so humbled FD has embraced Nickname and his Wacky Warriors with such love.  I consider each staff member a family member.  So much so that Lee and I are going to be camp parents at the next rock climbing camp in Moab the end of May.  We will actually be there on the anniversary of Nick’s passing and I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.  I truly believe it was not a coincidence that Nick chose to be part of FD.  I believe he knew FD was a healing experience for him while he lived and would be a healing experience for me once he physically died.

For more information on First Descents, please visit: www.firstdescents.org.

We are nervous and excited for this event.  The sadness is still ever-present, but now we have a special token made with love to wrap ourselves up in.

We wish blessings of love to our daughter in her expression of her unconditional love and to our son whose legacy we continue to honor.

Last weekend, the Wake Forest and NC State baseball teams honored their commitment to shave their heads for the St. Baldrick’s Foundation.  They surpassed their fundraising goals and their awareness factor to support childhood cancer research was equally impactful.  I have heard some people say that it is easier for men than women to lose their hair, which may be true.  However, I also know Nick was very self conscious about being bald so I want to acknowledge these two baseball teams and their coaches for taking “BaseBald” to another level!

Thank you, Coach Tom Walter and the Wake Forest & NC State teams!  I proclaim all of you true Wacky Warriors!

Here is a note from Tom followed by pictures of the event:

Lori, the other day I was looking at the donor list and for the life of me couldn’t figure out the connection. I went to the Wacky Warriors website and was extremely touched and humbled. You guys are doing amazing things. I am proud to be loosely associated with your organization.

I have attached pics of our day. After a loss, it usual takes me a solid 24 hours before I feel normal again…not that day. Players from both teams were awesome. The young children that came were awesome. The crowd participation was awesome. It was a truly special day.

If there is ever anything I can do to help the Wacky Warriors please do not hesitate to e-mail or call me.

Tom Walter – Wake Forest University Baseball